1. If some nosy co-worker who seems to be watching and judging your movement asks if you are going somewhere again, aggressively keep eye contact with them and say, “Yes, I am,” and then turn away.
2. Drink lots of water, eat lots of salty snacks, repeat.
Time will fly by since you won’t be sitting around in one place all day. In addition, nobody can stop you when you are linebacking your way to the bathroom. If they do, just go around them.
3. If you are sitting by a window,
especially if it faces a parking lot, look and monitor everyone coming in and out. Make up stories of what they do, where they are going — maybe even the dirty thoughts in their mind. (Not out loud of course.)
4. Say hi to everyone coming in.
If people know that you are friendly, you are most likely to be spared when they inevitably reach their breaking point. Extra points if you bring treats and distribute them.
5. Put pictures of a variety of different people on your desk.
Make sure they look like photos with friends (this is key — make sure it is believable). No, Kevin, you are not friends with five hot models. You clearly overreached and now look a FOOL!
This makes people think you are super social and probably know someone who would avenge them if you outted them out.
6. Start hobbies like sewing or stitching while staring at emails.
Keep your hands busy so you don’t end up writing that passive-aggressive email back to Brad as you explain yet again that his request is not possible. Seriously, Brad. STOP!!!
7. Write a list of five things you would do if you won the lottery and could quit your job.
The more extravagant and vindictive the better.
What are some ways you stay sane in your 9-5 ?
CHAOS TRANSFORMED 
Leave a comment