Children are not born to be quiet, seen but not heard; these are taught in everyday interactions with people around them.
I have always been talkative, saying whatever is on my mind, good or bad, despite what is going on around me. I always had my opinions and expressed them freely.
As I grew up in China with my immediate family, they encouraged me to be who I was. They said I could achieve whatever I put my mind to, and I believed them.
It changed when I came to the U.S., not only because of the initial language barrier, but all these social etiquette rules I had to learn along the way.
My teachers and classmates ignored me when I talked out of turn, constantly corrected me when they didn’t understand what I meant, and generally put me in my place unless I had something they deemed valuable to say.
I slowly began changing the way I talked and expressed myself, waiting and watching for cues from those around me before I said anything.
For a while, it worked. People started listening when I spoke, but at the cost of filtering my thoughts to what I felt they deemed acceptable.
Slowly, this became something I automatically did because it was easy. Because it felt safe.
Because every time I expressed my mind and feelings with words, I was met with confusion and annoyance.
Even those who loved and understood me would make offhand comments every now and then. It hurt to be unable to express my emotions fully, but I didn’t want to be alone.
I wanted to belong and be included.
But after awakening to my truth, I realized I was not being authentic.
I was not giving myself the chance to express myself fully.
I abandoned parts of myself to fit in and still felt alone.
That’s when I realized I needed to do something different: to be comfortable with being disliked while being my most embodied self.
I realized I was not meant to be understood by everyone, and that’s okay.
It is better to be liked for who you are than liked for the parts that make others comfortable.
It’s okay to be different.
To say things that don’t make sense.
To just get those thoughts out of your head and onto a page, with trusted friends, or onto social media without any promise of positive feedback.
It is not only healthy; it is honoring your thoughts, emotions, and voice; the true gift you provide.
For more of my content :
Have you ever changed the way you spoke to fit in ?
CHAOS TRANSFORMED 
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