CHAOS TRANSFORMED

It’s easy to clam up when someone asks for your thoughts when you disagree. There are many paths you can go. First, pretend you didn’t hear them. Second, verbally agreeing but it doesn’t carry any weight. Third, say what you think and possibly be in a conflict state with them depending on the severity of the belief they are trying to get you to buy into.

I have done the first two more than I want to admit for most of my life. I would rather say what I know they want to hear rather than voicing my heart’s truth and having to defend my position. One of the worst feelings with defending myself is the continual need to explain my thoughts, reasoning, and conviction when most times it’s easier to agree and not go through turmoil of being judged for your opinion.

An example of this is a time my mom said I looked like I was gaining weight and she assumed I was just eating lots of sweets because she knows I have a sweet tooth. Instead of doing what I always do and agreeing to stop eating sweets and rebelling by going to a bakery and gorging on them, I decided to tell her simply that I haven’t been eating much sweets. I have been sleep deprived, stressed with keeping the emotional and parental load of a household, and trying to hold myself together when I am not getting the help I need. If a sweet can provide me with an ounce of peace, I will eat it without guilt or shame.

This will normally feel like conflict or not appreciating the concern of someone coming from a genuine place of love. But just cause the intentions were good doesn’t mean your voice does not matter. Does not mean they can impose narrow minded, simplified ways of thinking to more complex situations. Each person is entitled to their own perspective but when spoken aloud it is no longer just opinion, it’s an energetic push of that idea into another person’s energetic field. Depending on the relationship of the individuals it could hit them emotionally, mentally and affect them spiritually and physically. The person receiving this could either fold, break or be rooted in their worth that it rolls off their sleeve.

At this point as the receiver it’s important to have your boundaries. Kindly and compassionately acknowledge the message was sent with love, but the judgment underneath it is something they do not agree with. No further explanations needed. This is not about getting a consensus, changing someone’s opinions, or proving yourself. It is about voicing your heart’s truth vulnerably to those you know love you and care about you.

It’s about choosing to say the hard truth rather than letting the misunderstandings fester. It’s about loving yourself and defending your peace over the false shrinking or performance to keep external peace.

For more of my content :

What are some boundaries you’ve had to make to keep your truth ?